Or, Learn Parkour: An ADHD Podcast
Or, Learn Parkour: An ADHD Podcast
OLP 023: Thnks fr th Rngns
In episode 23 of Or, Learn Parkour- in honor of this back to school season, Lex & Jordan take a trip back to their own school memories, and ask the ever-present question: when's the first time you remember thinking you might think differently than others? And seriously, how did nobody notice? Like... nobody? Join us for this deep dive into the hosts' pasts, fun facts about Alexander the Great, and more music recommendations than that guy at a kickback who has his own college radio show that you definitely did not ask.
Thanks for listening!
CW/TW: Mental health, ADHD, explicit language, loud noises, yelling, rambling, singing, covid-19, mouth noises, garbled speech, discussion of eating food, discussions of the education system, mild bullying, ableism
Credits:
Cover art by: Krizia Perito
Theme: There Is A Dark Place
Socials:
Mental Health Resources:
There is a dog play, but I'm not going. No, no, no, no. Um, uh
Speaker 2:[inaudible]
Speaker 3:Hi, I'm Jordan. And this is or learn par or a podcast about ADHD done by two people who for sure have ADHD and in a new place. Now we are, I'm trying to think of a better way of saying it then in the closet we are we're right in it, right in that closet. So we, our doors shut lights are on. It's actually very cozy. Yeah. Put up some string wines at the last minute to make it a little bit more homey. Still need to probably work on our installation and sound sort of muting, but we're doing our best because now we don't have to build a blanket Fort in my bedroom every other week. And now we don't have to hopefully just like sweat so much. Oh my gosh. It was so sweaty. So, so sweaty. So if our audio quality seems different or worse, don't say anything. Don't worry about it. Trust me. I know I listened to this so much. It's so in my ears, I'm very aware I'm doing my best. Yeah. Well, I always welcome back. It's been a hot minute because if it's a holiday, we generally skip podcasting. Yeah. We're holidaying. We hope you holiday to safely, safely. Yes. That is a very important component of holidaying. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, we came back feeling relatively rested and rejuvenated, so rested, which is saying something considering in our personal lives and in the world, I think in everyone's personal lives at this point because of the, like, there's just nobody. No one's doing okay. None of us are and that's Ooh. Yeah. Mitski yeah, no buddy. Well, we really add something when the cats start trying to attack us from under the door, the cattle using that. Yeah. That's have discovered the closet. Yeah. They know about it, but they've discovered that we are, they are not boy. Howdy. That's not a, not a good time for them. They love us and we love them, but it's not a bad time for us. We ate them yelling. And while we do, cause they're, they're doing that on the other side of the door. We'll see though, we will anyways. Yeah. Everything's kind of gone to. Well, okay. Let me rephrase. Everything's sorted just still, but it just keeps snowballing into more. So just like, you know, we're doing our best, you're doing your best. And um, just go watch that video from Steve, from blues clues on repeat and stick with us. And uh, if you're having a time, you're not alone. Yeah. And speaking of, times this week, it's loosely, mostly going to be about what does she say back to school, back to school? I don't know. Insert generic, maybe back to school, labor day sale music. I don't know. That was what that was. Oh, amazing. Thank you. Yeah, I got you. Cool, cool, cool. We can just fix that in post, right? Like we just kind of like edit things over in post. None of this conversation we'll stay in the episode. Um, I think it depends on how funny we are. I think it depends on how good we can keep it. Like how, how smooth can we make this bit? How long can we force our audience to tolerate it? You know, velvety, can we just keep these goofs a slidin ASM Mar, but with fun, how can we just dip this podcast? And they'll Vieta like a slightly stale tortilla chip anyways. Yes. We're talking about back to school. Uh, cause it's that time of year and somehow some way people are just like going back to school right now. Yeah. In a major way. Yeah. For my point deranged behavior, I'm just like, like big I'll stop the world and melt with you. Sort of like you've seen the difference, but it's not getting better all the time. So it's like at this point is like, God just laugh. It's like, wow, we're we sure are. We sure are. We sure are. As a society and a culture on a very wide scale, we are all we sure are. We are, we are. Anyway. So this week on our alarm par core, we're going to take a little, little trip to the past and just have a little chat about our back to school experiences. And uh, I'm trying to think of a better way of putting it than warning signs. Do you want to give everyone an idea of what we're going to chat about today? What our theme is? Yeah. So like, you know, when you yourself or someone, you know, gets diagnosed with ADHD and they go through almost inevitably this sort of like looking back on the past and a lot of self-reflection and looking at moments in our lives and histories and whatnot, where we see ourselves making choices or not making choices as it were, uh, just existing. And you know, from a hindsight is 2020 sort of point of view. You're like, ha how did nobody, how did I, how did nobody know what hello, where come get this child, come get this weird child who was doing, what are you? Nobody, nobody saw it. Nobody said anything, nothing. It's imagining like a game show. Like the price is right. Except it's how didn't nobody know. Welcome to the show where every week three students talk about their lives. Keep going. I'm here for you. I'm an, I'm a willing and ready audience. Keep it rolling. And you have to guess which one of them has an undiagnosed learning disability, bad, bad TV show. Very bad, but very funny. Very relatable to unfortunately. Yeah. So we will be talking about in short, um, some moments in our past that, um, that we wondered how nobody knew and, you know, had someone noticed maybe we could have help or diagnoses or acknowledgement validation. Validation is nice. Yeah. Something a little earlier than we did. And not saying that I'm on grateful because I am glad to have reached this point at all, but also comedic the comedic effect of, um, you know, looking back into your past and seeing how you would just go make houses for the elves in the woods, by yourself and find tree hollows to sit in while eating spring onions that you'd pulled out of the ground for like five hours just vibing. And nobody, nobody, nobody even looked at me and said, Hmm, weird. Like I did definitely get bullied a lot, but builds character. That's not true. That's not true. That's not true for me. I think that is what happened, but that's not how you build character. That's not necessary. Not necessarily to be like, I just, uh, this is not an advice podcast. Oh no. Oh no. And definitely not a medical podcast either. We are not doctors or psychologist or psychiatrist or therapist, nothing. We don't know anything. I got a master's degree in anthropology, which is about the Vegas master degree. You can get no offense to my other friends out there who have higher degrees in anthropology. I know it's much more complex than that. And I applaud you for pursuing your dream and the license you love placing them for me. So, I mean, I can't judge you. Yeah, no, no you can't. But we've been over that a couple of times. So I want to keep dunking on you for it, but we're not, uh, we're not experts on much of anything except for our own lived experiences. And even then I don't remember a lot of my life, so. Okay. Yeah. I mean, that's definitely something too. That's definitely something too, but also, you know, what we do remember is just our experience and if it helps you feel seen, known may have even loved amazing. That'd be dope. Haley is love that journey for you love that journey for all of us, right? Like let's, let's bring it all in together team. Um, amen. Okay. So Jordan, Lex, what is the earliest time you can think back to where somebody should've maybe like maybe it wasn't a red flag, but like an orange flag, like somebody isn't yellow, but like just something, what was the first inkling? Hmm. I mean the first vivid memory that I have would be fifth grade for the most part, I did pretty well in school. I really enjoyed it. And I think that that makes a lot of people, not that makes a lot of people kind of toss ADHD off the plate, into the recycled, uh, nerd. I'm just building your character again. This is not an advice podcast do not do as we say or do, but you could, but don't loop. We won't stop you, but we're not endorsing it. We're not responding for what happens. You know, tangent. I did just get some new tattoos. Oh, they're so sick. Some of this a very well thank you to crikey Chan on Instagram for doing these really good tattoos on the backs of my arms that say, uh, well, the back of my left arm, it says play stupid games in American traditional font. And what does it say on your right arm when stupid prize? And this is as much a reminder for me as it is to literally anybody else who encounters me in life. A good reminder for everyone, I think. Yeah. So play stupid games, win stupid prizes. If you bully someone and they punch you, I, we're not liable. That's a pretty stupid game. Wouldn't recommend it, but inequitably stupid prize. That's it. So if you want to win the stupid prize that I guess, you know, chase your bliss, but like, think about it first. Think about the consequences just for like even a second. Yes, Bubba. It's Jesus. He opened the door. Like I know that we would be able to sit on my lap on literally shedding, but this was different. It does the sacred space now. I mean like you invite root beer into the bathroom. Yeah. Just wrench the door open. I'm just going to have to hold the door shut while we do this. I mean, that would not be ideal, but maybe for like a minute while he's experimenting or like he starts to try again, it'll shut in the winter, but the store doesn't shut in the summertime. Yeah. Swollen. We'll say full bloated thicker. So yeah. We'll just all sit here and hold the door. Yeah. Okay. So fifth grade. Oh right. Yes. That's great. Take me back. Take me there. Give me let's. Let's do a little bit of theater of the mind just for me and the rest of you who are partaking in this experience. It's fifth grade. It's 2005. We have uh, one second, one second. I just want to see, I just want it is the year under the cork tree came out. If that's what you were literally literally literally[inaudible] cloud. I was Googling it. Oh no, no. I saw your tweet about what's the name of this way? We'll order of water, buffaloes and like, yeah. Yeah. For real, like, I'm so glad that you did that album and do that song because this is a good one, but it's a good one. Coffee's for closers is also really good. No, I've also been biting to that one. Cool. I was like, it's like same some of the same chord progressions. Yeah. The lyrics of this little order water buffaloes are just like really hitting, right. I know. Yeah. The change will come. Lyric is what's to me personally for coffee's for closers. It's got that big drum situation. Okay. Sorry. So take me back. We're in fifth grade, it's 2005. Follow boy has released what, in my opinion is there, oh, I can't even say it's their best album. Cause I don't even know if I believe that fully, but oh, I know how you feel about falling from under the cork tree core tree is the one that was, oh, you're capturing, you're discussing with me. And I'm totally, I'm saying that. I understand why you can't say it's their best album. Yes. Because fully a dude does also absolutely read really? So you're in fifth grade formative album still. Yeah. You're in fifth grade sugar. We're going down is playing in the background. It is sire across the country in Michigan. Some idiot, seventh grader is hearing dance, dance come on at the school dance in middle school and starts to run towards the gym and my slippery socks match and completely eat in front of the popular girls of the gymnasium part where the dancing is actually. But you bet that I jumped right back up and I ran in there and I jokingly was like, like I said, I just fell over when the spirit of Patrick stump compels you and you must dance dance. Was I wearing a red plaid skirt over flared blue jeans from American Eagle specific? Yes. Okay. Wearing a black dress, a fedora and red high tops to the school dance. I was probably out at the same time at school. This is in fifth grade. Oh no. I was thinking the sixth grade. We did not have school dances. I was like. I knew Washington was progressive as a state, but no naturally Eastern war. I see. Okay. Sorry. I'll stop commandeering lists and my own sort of 2005 world. You just rocketed me though, bro. Like rocketed me. And I imagine in the, uh, film version of, or Lorne park course would be like a, you know, a montage back and forth vignettes. So you would be vignettes, vignettes, vignettes, vignettes. That's the, from there's been yeas, you had the donuts there's VNA, which is a wine grape. There's there's a lot of A's but this is a Annette. Okay. And there are Vienna sausages probably I'm on your side of the vignette. Yeah. That's not as much of a thing and in Washington. Okay. Well anyways, so anyways, so on my side of the vignette, it's fifth grade and then Mrs. Madison's gifted and talented education class. I am the student of the week, this week. And that means there's a corkboard at the front of the classroom that I get to decorate with pictures about my life. Bring in some things that are important to me. I get to tell the class about them. The only two things that I remember from this are bringing in one, my favorite spatula, which is a totally normal item for a fifth grader to have not just my own special, but my favorite one and two, a photograph of me on my roof with a staple gun. Okay. I see your point. That's not the ADHD thing though. Okay. The other component. No. Yeah, no, that was just me being a weird kid. But the ADHD moment that I remember is the other component of being student of the week was that you got to sit in a special desk for the week and it was in its own special cubicle. It had a nicer chair and there was the set of like silver balls in this velvet case that were supposed to be like, you hold both of them in one hand and kind of move them around. And it's supposed to like exercise your hand and calm you. It's supposed to be like a calming exercise. And I remember working on a worksheet at my fancy fancy desk and getting stuck on the worksheet, pulling out the set of what was told to me to be calming toys and playing with them and getting torn a new one from my teacher for playing with these toys before my worksheet was done. I think nowadays we call that fidgeting. But when I was in fifth grade, I got a refocus, which was like the second worst thing that could happen to you short of getting sent to the principal's office because you had to sit outside and fill out a piece of paper about why you were bad enough to sit outside. I cried every time I got a refocus in school and I think now we would look back and be like, oh, fidgeting. But this was pre fidget toy era. This was a just pure on adulterated us public school. Interesting, interesting. So that's my first of many admittedly I know we've covered many of them in the show before, but that was the first. What about you? What is your side of the Vienna sausage here? Okay. Well, it would definitely be earlier than seventh grade, but that's just where I was at in 2005. I, so I think the first big indicator that I remember in terms of like school, right. Um, was how, and I think part of it too, is like, I know that little, little kids having worked with little kids who are transitioning from preschool and kindergarten and into elementary school or primary school or whatever it's called where you live, but you know, when you're age six or seven and you start learning how to do big kids school, you know, um, or at least when people used to start, I don't know when they start now, cause I'm not in childcare field now, but, but I just have this one really strong memory of third grade. Um, I was over by the bookcase in the third grade classroom and I'm pretty sure there was a lesson happening and it was just sort of monitoring around. Cause I think I recall doing that on occasion. Um, I don't know how much of that was like supervised or unsupervised. Cause I don't remember that, but you know, you don't think about that part when you're just wondering around as a little kid, right? No. Is that wasn't um, an admittedly like when I would go home after school, I would be home alone for awhile. So like I was pretty independent early on. Yeah. So I think at one point I just, I remember being really bored with what we were learning about and I remember going over and sit in my little button down on the reading carpet, reading rug or whatever, and grabbing a couple books from the bookshelf and they were all, all, all of them were horse books. Yeah. And I just remember being so, so I think like the first big indicator for me was like the deep hyper fixation of like, and this was the same point in life where, when I was riding my bike, I pretended that my bike was actually a horse. And that was how it was getting around to the neighborhood as you do, as you do. I was like, I had little jump things and little Hills and stuff that I had set up. I like drew a stable on like the offshoot of our driveway with sidewalk chalk. Like I that's, that's very ambitious. Oh. I went, oh, I was so invested. I also still to this day, I still remember most horse breeds and I know most of their temperaments, average sizes and Heights, like it's bad, it's never left. Um, and it comes in handy occasionally. Yeah. Occasionally like when you decided to start playing a D and D character who may or may not have been turned into a horse for their hubris. Um, anyways, that one's not for sure, but if it is, I'll keep y'all posted. Cause I'm very excited. Um, so I'm sitting there while the teacher is doing a completely different lesson. And I think at some point she was just sort of letting me do that because it was easier to teach everyone what was going on. And I was like a pretty smart kid, so I didn't need a ton of help. But I think then she sort of did like a little bit of independent, like reading or play time or whatever. And she just came in like crouched down next to me. And she was like, so Alexa, really like horses don't need me and me being like, yeah, like looking up at her, like, yes. Why don't you ask like, look at this one, this is the syphilis historically the horse that belonged to Alexander the great, my name's Lexa, which is derived from Alexander, which is, do you know what that means? It means protector of mankind. That's the law for me to live up to a little baby. And I didn't say those many words. Right. But like, but like, yeah. So I think we're all like, things like that. Like, so nobody, I mean, like I know a little kids are just interested in things and very forthright. Right. Like I know that their little kids will just they'll tell you anything. Oh yeah. They'll say whatever. Oh yeah. When I was what for, to see this happening like multiple times. And then there's more in the same year that, um, spirit stallion of the Cimarron came if I recall. And um, Lord of the rings also came out around this time. One of the Lauren's drinks had just come out match. Uh, I remember this because my brother dressed up as Gollum for the premiere. It was a midnight beer with his friends. Sorry, sorry. If your brother's listening, you know where to find me, please let me know. But I want a five paragraph single space essay of why out of all of the characters from the entire like Lord of the rings. Oh, sorry. You wasn't going who's Smiggle shut. You chose to dress up as Meagle. Cause that's so much better than golf. Well, he was a big nerd about it. He was like, he had a chain around his neck. Yes. That doesn't answer the question. Number Frodo and Sam, they had a chain around Adam's neck. Like he was Gollum if they were any, I only have more questions that I still want to know why out of all of the characters in Lord of the rings, it's funny for the bit. Okay. Fair enough. Also, if you've seen my brother in high school, you would understand love you, bro. Not that I have it all my self, like just saying anyways. So I knew that at the time. Right. But so all of my closest friends in third grade were boys because I was one of, I was one of those girls to the point where teachers commented on it and were worried that I wasn't getting enough, like feminine. Okay, fine. It's fine. I went to a private school before transferring to a public school and I may or may not have started crying when another student tried to tell me the spirit sign, a Cimarron was not as good or as important or as fine of a film as whatever Lord of the rings had just come out. And I think history will be on my side this and um, so I do stand, stand by my, my, uh, anger, I guess, you know, one of the first Hills and I was ready to no, you know what? I'm on dying on the hill. Someone else's but I'm not killing on the hill. Yes. Yeah. So I burst into tears over an argument about someone basically just getting the courses are dumb. Spirit is dumb, stupid. And me just being like, this is the worst thing that's ever happened. You know, for people don't like horses, the way I like horses. How old were you at that point? Like seven or eight. I was more, a little grade. It very well could have been the worst thing that happened to you at that point could have, you know, prep probably wasn't but it could've, it sounds like it was very impactful to your spirit. Yeah. So that was like one of the first times I really knew, I was like, oh, I don't fit in with the other kids. I did also wear a Cape one day to school. It was one day though. It's one day. So it was like, I was weird enough to be Cape kit, but just socially savvy enough to know, not to be Kate, the kid who hasn't done that though, worn a Cape to school. Like once I think you might've just told on yourself more than you dunked on me. I wasn't trying to dunk on you. But yeah. So anyways, so anyways sort of indicator, like there's the teacher maybe noticed like something was going on here, but didn't address it otherwise let's just say that like, okay. This kid just really long first is I guess. Geez, embarrassing. I don't know. I mean, I, I mean, I can't really judge you though, cause I'm pretty sure when I was in late elementary school, early middle school, every single time I would be around a cantaloupe, I would make sure that everyone in the room knew that that's not actually a cantaloupe. It's a Musk melon, real cantaloupes actually only grow in Europe and go into the history of why they don't grow in the U S and they're not imported. And you know, so yeah, for sure, not that I think that having strong interests is necessarily an ADHD trait in and of itself, but yeah, looking back, wondering nobody thought anything about that question. Like not even a little like Hmm. You know, again, and I did ask like orange flag, like a very early indicator where it's like, could be a multitude of things causing this particular behavior, but it is maybe it isn't behavior. It is because I will say, I think the first red flag would be, I mean, I guess starting in third grade, because that's when I got put in the gifted program in elementary school, which I was in some version of basically through high school. And I know for a fact that I got into that program because I was reading, like I read pride and prejudice in fifth grade. That was just kind of the kind of kid I was. But that's what got me into that program. It was not my math skills. I underperformed in math, my entire school career. I remember in fifth grade, again, having to sit out in the hallway and finish my math worksheet most of the time, because we would have time to do them in class and then we'd go over them as a class, but I was never ready to go over them with the rest of the class. So that happened in fifth grade. I think once I started getting individual grades in math class, I might've gotten like a B minus my first sixth grade math class, but I don't think I got above a C from seventh grade until my junior year of high school when I stopped doing school full time so that I wouldn't have to do math class. Yeah. And yeah, I got grounded for not doing my math homework. I got high key shamed by teachers. I got suspended from doing extracurricular activities. I asked to be transferred to not a gifted math class. Cause they kept putting me in like the high level math classes. Cause I was a quote unquote high level kid and doing poorly in them and got ignored. I just consistently did really bad at math all the time. And nobody thought anything of it, nobody was like, oh, you need a math tutor or you should be in a lower level class. And not the one that you're consistently getting seasoned, no matter how hard you try. I just got that like, well you don't like math. So try harder for sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, 10th, 11th. Well, 10th grade is when I stopped taking math. I had to take another year of math and college. So like six years of my life just being told that I needed to try harder when I like just stared at the page and felt like I couldn't see. Yeah. Wow. This just took like a really intense turn. I'm very sorry that your life went that way. I mean, it turned out okay. I was correct in my assessment at a young age that I didn't sorry, math teachers. I didn't need to know a lot of that. I understand the brain growth that it's there for, but I don't use it. I turned out. Okay. Thanks. I guess that was my second big ADHD in the more hyperactive maybe impulsive sentence was in can't remember if it was junior or senior year, but one of the years I didn't do full-time high school, my junior or senior year, my junior year, I did a work training program and I basically did a year of culinary school. My second year of high school. I had an internship. So I only did three classes at my high school instead of six. But one of those years, somebody decided that I needed to be in a pre-calculus class, which I didn't, I didn't need the credit. I actually needed to take another class that time to get the credits I needed to graduate. But my guidance counselor said I had to take pre-calculus because I needed to, if I was going to go to college at all, ever for anything is who is a pretty hot take in and of itself. But I was kind of a goody two shoes for a fair amount of my school career. I wasn't, you know, I didn't get in trouble a whole lot, like on purpose. I wasn't sneaking out or acting up or doing a whole lot of those things, but I just skipped class every day to sit in front of her door and glare at her until she changed my class. Yeah. Okay. And it worked. Yeah. But yeah. Yeah. Sorry. That got very intense. I think I still have a little I'm over it. I'm fine. Sure thing, bro. Hell yeah. Love you here to support. No matter what, there's some stuff you can do. That's fine. I'm fine. No, I'm good. I'm good. Yeah. I guess it makes sense. Yeah. My big problem was just like, if there was something more interesting. I would not just be distracted by that, but I would actively seek that out. Oh yeah. In my other classes. So I remember my eighth grade math teacher, he hated me and I did not like him very much either. So, um, yeah. I don't know. I like had to, I got put into like the lowest level math class when I switched to public school, which was, I think harder for my mom than it was for me. Like I remember feeling like really like ashamed, but in a way of like, I didn't really know that that's what was happening. And I eventually got like worked my way up into the higher level math class, but then once like middle school started, they just put me back in like the average, like normal math. But I don't know when I think about like the math classes that I did really poorly in or like the econ class that I did really poorly it's because I either didn't like the teacher. And so I actively was like, I don't want to learn this from you. Like maybe if someone else taught me, maybe it's a hard maybe like, but like I also was just very, like, I know this is a lot more of the impulsivity and emotional like reactionary sort of side, but like I was always so defiant and like, I don't regret it. And I think I was right too, because like you said, I haven't needed to use that stuff. Right. But then like I did have an awesome math teacher junior year, early sophomore year and senior year. I think we got, I just know he was super fun, made things structured, but not too structured and like fast paced enough to be interesting, but like slow enough and more like malleable enough that people could sort of take their time. It would be okay or whatever. And his main thing that I think I took like pre-algebra and pre-calc or something. And that was the highest I went. So I think I was in quote quote-unquote average math class, but I may have been in the low one. I can't remember. But regardless I liked math by the end there in a, like, I could appreciate it, you know? Like see you mathematics. I see you as a field. Like that's, that's interesting to me. And like helps that I befriended like a huge math nerd in college. I was like, oh yeah. Oh yeah. Now I'm like, oh, look at that golden ratio or Ooh, Fibonacci. Yes. I know him. I do respect a good Fibonacci. So that's why I'm saying, cause like mathematics and like stem fields generally have so much like beauty and art in them. And so I will always be of the opinion that we should all have banded together against the business and econ ventures. Amen. I mean, econ you're on thin ice, but for sure the business majors. Yeah. Cause like we have a lot more in common than popular media wants us to believe, oh yeah, no sciences, our art, a science I'm with you there that's it. I did not feel this way really in high school. And so like same in terms of like people being like, you need to, like, you just don't like math, you just need to try harder. And me being like, yeah, of course I don't like math. This teacher is a. Like being really like aggressive back. Yeah. But then also being like, well, but I do want to be a zoologist and I do want to do biology and college, so I need to do this. And then I didn't know that you wanted to do biology. That's why I was a TA for my senior year of high school. Nice. Is a bio teacher. And so I took bio with him in 10th grade. Oh this is the person whose class I saw Sonic. Oh, oh yeah, yeah, human. Jenny's going to be really upset, but that wasn't his fault. And when I was his TA, two years later, I did get to occasionally just like take naps in the back office. And like part of my duties were like watering the plants and having time to do my homework. That's great. He always had like the cane sugar mountain Dew and a mainframe. I know. I know. And like when I went to the midnight premiere, all the Harry Potter movies that year, cause I think there were two of them, I think part one and part two of the deathly Hallows during my senior year. So at least one of those, I had gone to the midnight premiere and barely slept and he was like, just take a nap. I hope it was great. I'm taking my daughters this weekend. Or like whatever he said, I don't know. He was really cool. That's delightful. Yes. So all that said, obviously I am not as doable. And part of that is because I genuinely do have a hard time with math. So I was not trying hard. But even when I try hard, like same with like sometimes there's certain math things. I'm like, what does that mean? What is below? Yeah. That's probably why I didn't do super good at coding. Coding is hard. It's so hard. It's like you have so many friends who do it too. So I'm like, oh I have all these people who could logically, potentially teach me in a way that would make it better. And I would understand it. But like at what cost effect, coders so much, you can do so many amazing things. There's so much art and potential. And the language of it is so fascinating. But it sucks when you feel like you tap into all of those things and you're really getting it. And then you just get kneecapped by like half of a set of parentheses, you've lost somewhere and it all comes crashing down around you. Yeah. Or like design some really amazing, cool stuff. But like it's beamed like to be too much work or whatever. And so then everyone else just kind of like takes it down. I don't know. Some people talk about that. That sounds like a real butter. Wow. A little Owen Wilson, my tiny little Buffalo. You really hit the wall. Pretty hard. I was going to say it's very warrior and Waluigi. Yep. There it is. Oh, Olin will solely G okay. So anyways, I kind of lost the plot here, but like we sure. Um, we sure have some in some early indicators, this might have to be like a series it's already so long. We've only talked about two things. Yeah. So yeah. We'll come back to this. Maybe this will just be like a recurring segment. Yeah. Yeah. I like that idea. Cause like, oh, hopefully y'all like that idea. If you don't bummer. Um, our podcast, our rules are yeah. Sorry. Yeah. Not sorry at all. Like I don't care if your a guest is my toy and I don't want to play with it. How I want to play with it was when I was the youngest child don't ask. I'm sure. I sure was. You were also sure. The oldest child, I think that's partially why we worked decently well as roommates, there were two youngest children. This would be a hot mess, heated bad. Um, so looking back on our baby selves, the abyss, the, we looking back on them, if you can, oh, look at the whole wonderful was just getting a, getting a new hotter balloon. We have the same haircut. Now look at that. Look at that. Look at us. Look at us who would have thought, oh me. Well, okay. Sorry. No, that actually ties in wonderfully. Cause I was going to ask like, if you could beam back just like a quick little message to your elementary school self right now, what would it be? Learn how to do breathing exercises instead of resorting to doing hits. I think managing the emotional outbursts, like the emotional like reaction. So like what, what we would think of now as RSD, right? That injunction sensitive dysphoria of like lashing out when things seem emotionally or mentally dire. Yeah. That's actually really wonderful. Brief, wholesome, useful advice. I was just going to say like invest in Google, but play stupid games, win stupid prizes. think of the consequences. You a little dip. That's another way to put it. I turned out. Okay. Yeah. But we're always turning out finalized. You got lots of time to play stupid games and win stupid prizes. Yeah. Besides investing in Google, I think what I would say to little fifth grade Jordan, we, we, one tiny little shrimp Jordan is you're really smart and that doesn't make you better than anyone else or worse than anyone else. And you can be smart about whatever you want. Don't let anyone else make you feel like it's not cool because it is, then it matters more if you're having fun than if anyone else thinks you're a nerd or not. Yes. Well that's what I got. Love it. Love it. Love it. Wow. Well thank you for wrapping that up on such a like sweet and sincere, nice note. Really feel like that balanced out everything else. So this journey there, we really did, but we are, but we're here now and right on the horizon, I can see a big old trampoline that's dying to be hopped upon. And um, this is the part of the podcast where we talk about things that we are really fixated on, whether it be a hyper fixation in the traditional sense of the word or just something that has really caught our attention and given us a lot of dopamine, this is the dopamine trampoline. Welcome jump with us. Yeah, take us. What's the sorta yeah. Me first. Yeah. Okay. This one's not so much a hyper fixation this week. It's just something that's tickled me. Just brought me a lot of the light. Absolutely. I'm ready. I like most people, my age don't actually use Facebook that much, but I have to for work actually legitimately. And when I was on Facebook for work, I stumbled across a page that's just called crab Rangoon memes. And it does exactly what it says on the tin. It's just means about how freaking good crab rangoons are, which is correct and true and right. Oh absolutely. I am a hundred percent on this hill with you. This is in this house. We love a good crab Rangoon. We do. And honestly, even just a cream cheese Rankin still doesn't necessarily need to have the crab in it for me personally, I put that for the cream cheese on good. Still whipped. Yeah. Yeah. Especially cause like most rangoons do have like some, some seasonings vegetables, like some green onions and they're dipping in that sauce anyway, are we after this? Huh? That's later this week. That's the only downside of the crab Rangoon means Facebook page is that I have to take it in pretty small doses. Otherwise I will just go eat crab rangoons until I can't move. If I followed that page. And if I ever got onto Facebook ever, I would probably also just, uh, I'd probably go into severe debt for grabbing guns, you know, max out my credit card on crab Rangoon. Absolutely. I would get my card declined if it meant that I might be able to get that cashier to sort of pity, give me at least the covering groups. You know what I mean? Yeah. You're worth it. Get on my hands and knees for covering. So, um, what's your favorite meme though? So far? Oh gosh. It's hard to explain memes. It's hard to like describe them. I will share some to the Twitter for sure. But I think my favorite thing is the like Rangoon adoration culture that has sort of arisen of this sort of anything for the goons. That's what they call them. The goons, you can get shirts from them that say ran Goonies, like Goonies and ran good and mixed together into one word rain Goonies. And it's just like someone telephone asked me, sorry, I'm just trying to think of his name. I literally have, the mom was like, oh, does he look Cropper and goons? I didn't know that before I put that together anyways, so yeah. Clever and good means. So just really been tickling me this week. Got to get those goods, how to get those guns. Why don't you tell me your DT so we can wrap this up and go get some good. Um, yeah. So, uh, to take a very large, Zagg amazing. Imagine that we were like jumping up and then I did that really really mean thing where I ended my jump a little early, just a little bit before y'all so that I can super jump once you all off, um, into an emotional time. Um, so full disclosure, I know we're all going through it. Um, so if like really emotionally sad music and like imagery of like alcoholism is not your thing. Just like keep hitting that little like ten second forward button for a little bit. Just because I'm here to talk about the music video for the song beginners by a band called slow club, starring none other than Daniel Radcliffe, his what I is probably his most famous role. You might have heard of him from other things like a Swiss army man and um, kill your darlings. What else? Oh, horns. Right, right, right, right. Or Equis, whatever the hell that was. That was on stage though. So, but still, you know, uh, I think everyone heard about, I think everyone heard about that show happening. Yeah. Uh, I mean he's, he's in some other stuff too. Uh, but yes. Oh probably also very well known for, uh, dating someone from Flint, Michigan. Oh yeah. She's great. They met on killer Darlene's but nothing else though. He didn't do anything else. Um, so this music video came out in 2011, which is the year I graduated from high school. Um, and that was about the year that I discovered slow club and this album, um, that beginners is on called paradise and this is the first album I started listening to of slow clubs and, um, it's a good song and I like it a and I like to sing along to it. Um, it's definitely, it's actually legitimately in like my top five songs of all time personally. It's uniquely cathartic. I would say there's a great word for it. Um, I can read just like a snippet of the lyrics just really quick just to get sort of a feel for it, bring it on. Um, but, but for the context of it though, this music video is one man and that's Daniel Radcliffe waking up in what appears to be a bar or a pub. Uh, the morning after what looks to have been a rough night may have a wild night of sorts. Uh, and Daniel Radcliffe does sure look very hung over and sad and he is greasy and gross and wearing a like red floral, vaguely Hawaiian shirt. Um, and uh, this music video is just Daniel Radcliffe, walking around dancing and like singing slash lip, sinking the lyrics to beginners. And like truly I say this in, in, in the most respectful way possible some of the best acting that this man has ever done was in this music video. It's, it's, it's honestly like if you are looking for something really cathartic and like admittedly emotional and potentially emotionally difficult, you know, but also just so cathartic and so beautiful. Like not to get pretentious about it, not to get precious about it. Right. But like, it's just so good. So I, I really do recommend that you watch it and I'm sure we'll share it on like different like channels and whatnot post that. But yeah, no, it's so easy to like phone it in for a music video, but our man Dan, he does not do that. He's in it. Yeah. I, it makes, makes me feel like I'm in it too. Yes. Um, and it's just a good look. It's a good look. It's a good song. Uh, and so here's some of the lyrics that Daniel Radcliffe very like modeling very mopey, very sad, but in a like very clear morning after sort of the fog has lifted a little bit kind of like an owl check. Okay. Yeah. Yes. Sort of that vibe, but the lyrics. Um, and in a moment it all came to this the time it took for your muscles to grow and grip of all the things I've heard why to have to be these words and in a second I'll be gone and you won't have to think I got enough to keep me going, keep me from the brink as your bones grew. Why did you become you? Oh, I've told you, oh, to be older, you know, I'm right. I'm right. Um, yeah. I'm going to save the most impactful lines for your own experience of the song, but I feel like that gives you at least a little bit of context of like, this is a song on some level about some kind of grief. And like I said, in my very deranged behavior laughing earlier, like raw, really going through it. Um, and so that's why I wanted to bring this because it is genuinely for someone like me, who I obviously do not delight in the pain of others. I do not delight in the suffering of others at all. But in a fictional sense, if there's people, if there are people in a fictional sense that are going through something similar to what I feel I'm going through or similar in a way that I can latch onto, you know, like that is just so fulfilling from like an art perspective and from like a viewer perspective where it's like, okay, you are actually taking me somewhere. Like you're actually transporting me a little bit. Yeah. And also like drew, drew some tears for me. Hmm. Interesting. So like, it's very, it's very special to me. So if you watch it or listen to it and you don't like it, cool. You can have that. Not my, not my experience or my life. Um, but it's the last time I drove main trampoline and Daniel Radcliffe. If for some reason you ever heard this podcast just know that like, I appreciate your work in the beginner's music video so much. And like all the other stuff you've been into, like, you're great. Keep doing what you're doing. I'm like a huge fan. I'm also from Michigan. So like, but like not in that, no, not in that way. Not in that. I just meant like, probably been some to the same places. Like welcome to Michigan. We have like, we, we both have a least some context for really not liking Tim Allen. Um, so anyways, thank you for, for doing that in slow club. You too. Thank you. Slow club. I mean like crystal album, the whole, everything they do is amazing. Right. But like, oh, that whole album just still really gets me. Um, no it's, I mean, for me, like Christmas TV was a formative song of high school. I, the first song I ever heard by slow club was two cousins. All right. Which like, oh, what a good, what a good, good, good, good, good song to play. When you're driving around smoking, uh, like four in the morning and college years driving around Indiana back roads because you don't want to be where you are so many ways. That's my dobutamine trampoline. Uh, and I guess I would just sort of tie it all together and put a little bow on it and say like, thanks for sharing all this with us, the funniest and the not so funny if you share any of these experiences, like let us know. We love to hear from y'all. Um, sometimes people will reply to like our Twitter or tech talks and that's like so fun. So like, we want to be friends. We really, and you only want to hear from you. It makes our day, we appreciate y'all listening and reading and following along partaking, I hope that you have a cathartic song to go scream, sing along with, after this, for me, it will be disloyal water, buffaloes. I'm so glad that you're like, I mean, not that you weren't ever into fallout. Boy, I am so experiencing dried personal follow-up while of Renaissance, right? Yes, yes. And oh, oh, friends at home. You know, if you listen to this podcast or you follow me on literally any social media, you know how truly exciting this is for me, like a diehard fall boy fan. Oh. And who would have thought, who would have thought that fully? I do would be the album that really sucked you in and I'm so happy it is, but like, Hmm, cool. What a. So jam and eat some crab rangoons. Yeah. Yes. All right. This has been Orland park from wholehearted production hub. You can find us on Spotify, apple podcasts, and most other places call people, listen to podcasts special. Thanks to Cretia burrito for our cover art design. You can find her at Pennell hump. That's P E T a L H O P at Instagram, at Instagram on Instagram and Twitter. Yeah. And on that note, thank you to Tom Rosenthal for our intro. Now show song. There is a dark place off of the album. Keep a private room behind the shop. And on that note, thank you. Slow club for song beginners off of the well paradise. You can follow us on the social media we are at or learn par Corp on Twitter. We are at, we are WPC on Instagram and we are wpc.com. We're also on Tik TOK. If you haven't seen a that's at Orland park as well, are you sure on Tik TOK? I think I responded to one of y'all, but I, I wasn't logged into the oil P account. I was logged into my personal one and I realized, I was like, well, now I just look, I dunno. I just felt like a little bit of a dumdum. So if you get a response and it's not the official account, sorry, I've never done that on Twitter. I've never responded to anyone with my personal Twitter instead of the pill. That's totally, we're totally, I'm a professional social media manager. Yeah. So you can find links to all those things though. In our episode description. Yes. You can. If for some reason you enjoy this podcast and want to hear more, don't forget to subscribe or follow or you know, the drill by now. Yeah. Yep. And, uh, you can also show support by sharing, right? Like word of mouth. Tell people about us, tell people to listen to us, threaten them. If you need to don't please. Don't send your vibe if it's conceptually interesting, interesting, interesting choices all around, but if that's your thing. Sure. Okay. So, you know, you could also though you could give us money because we do have a Coalfire we sure do. I got to transition. Just, I'm just thinking about those goons. I'm just thinking about this.[inaudible] I just love that you went, Hey, if you're into consensually being awful to people, give us money. Yeah. Not directly correlated. No, but that was the transition. I was just, you know, different ways to support us and trying to hit my outro beats that I'm supposed to hit. Uh, you have the link to that scenario, link tree it's direct, you know, we could have been reasonable people and recorded this once. And then I think about that every single time that we start doing I'm like, we should just record this Lawrence, but then we would lose moments. Like it's true, which I'm sure everyone loves these. Um, I don't even have an outro question. I'm just, I'm tired and I hope you all take care of each other and yourselves and yeah, we're doing ours. We're doing our damnedest. We are. Yeah. If you've listened this long and you haven't skipped through the end credits. Thank you. Yeah. We love you so much. Yeah. But that's it though. So, oh wait, sorry. What'd you say? Oh, no. I was going to say my name. So you could say your name and we could go eat some booze. Okay. Keep going. Keep going. I'm Jordan and I'm Lex, this has been more line park core. We'll see you in two weeks.
Speaker 2:[inaudible]
Speaker 1:Uh, Dr. Todd.
