OLP 029.5: A Very Parkour Christmas (Director's Commentary)

For our traditional New Year's bloopers episode, tune into an uncut, behind-the-scenes look at our 2021 Christmas episode: A Very Parkour Christmas. Featuring a dramatic reading by Sylvie Brown, some writer's commentary, and a lot of different words for boobs.

Happy new year, and thanks for listening!

CW/TW: Mental health, ADHD, explicit language, loud noises, yelling, rambling,  burping, vaping, mouth noises, coughing, garbled speech, discussion of breasts


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Credits:

Cover art by: Krizia Perito

Theme: There Is A Dark Place

Wholehearted Production Co.

Socials:

Twitter

Instagram

Ko-Fi

Mental Health Resources:

openpathcollective.org

thelovelandfoundation.org

opencounseling.com

Transcript

Speaker 1 0:00

There is a dark place, but I'm not going no, no, no . My way there is a dark place , but I'm not going . No , no , no . My way .

Speaker 2 0:28

Hi, I'm Jordan and I'm Sylvie .

Speaker 3 0:30

And this is or learn

Speaker 2 0:32

Parkour . It's a podcast about ADHD done by two people who have ADHD usually, but not this week. Nope. This week is a very special <affirmative> ho holiday special.

Speaker 3 0:44

<laugh> it is all kinds of holiday and, and very, very special.

Speaker 2 0:52

It's so special. So sit back, relax,

Speaker 3 0:56

Enjoy. Please. Turn your cell phones off and refrain from flash photography or video you recording of any kind.

Speaker 2 1:04

Yeah. Yeah. That would be perfect. If you could do that. Uh <laugh> so, yeah, please sit back and enjoy a Christmas special written, produced and directed by Jordan rows. Dramatic reading by Sylvia brown. That's me take it away. Yeah. Did you have a title for this? No. Okay. So, so this is not the title it's it has what looks like a title in the document. This is so stupid LMAO. <laugh> is that a title?

Speaker 3 1:38

I meant it as author commentary, but yeah , it does . That does sum it up. All right .

Speaker 2 1:42

Great. But up it was the night before Christmas, when all through the flat, excuse me, what we live in America.

Speaker 3 1:56

<laugh> okay. Yeah. But did you want me to try and fit the word apartment into that line ?

Speaker 2 2:02

That's fair. That's fair. Okay. Not creature was stirring save two hosts and their cats. Ah , I see the rhyme mm-hmm <affirmative> I could , I could have read ahead. Mm-hmm <affirmative> but I didn't. The stockings were hung by the window with care in hopes that St . Nicholas soon would be there. Sleepy Jordan was nestled all snug in her bed with her cocoa and Sleepys and her orange boy cat N Sylvia and their hoodie root beer in their lap. Sat up begging their brain for a long winter's nap. That's dark.

Speaker 3 2:37

I didn't mean it like dark. I just meant like in a, you couldn't sleep kind of way instead of cuz you know, delayed sleep face ADHD .

Speaker 2 2:44

Yeah. I wouldn't know what that's like. Uh ,

Speaker 3 2:48

Uh huh . Well,

Speaker 2 2:50

Well, okay. When out in the yard there arose such a clatter. They both spray from their beds to see what was the matter. Where am oh , I lost my place. Okay. Away to the door. Root your flu, like a flash Ned clawed up the curtains and tipped over the trash. Oh wow. This is really, this is really true to life. Can really hard on it . Like

Speaker 3 3:11

Within the cannon of our lives. You're doing really well. I'm I'm a big fan so far . I said really hard. Yeah. Yeah. <laugh> okay . The moon on the of the , sorry. Keep , keep

Speaker 2 3:23

Reading it. The moon on the of the new fallen. Snow gave a luster of midday to objects below.

Speaker 3 3:30

Okay. Here's the thing that's not out of left field. The original line in the poem is the moon on the breast of the new fallen snow. Oh, so you just

Speaker 2 3:39

Picked like a better word for boobs. Yeah.

Speaker 3 3:41

I'm not just beating horny on Maine . That wasn't the

Speaker 2 3:44

Original. You could imagine my confusion. Yes. But not to all of these. Okay . Okay. So it's an Easter egg

Speaker 3 3:49

For fans of the original.

Speaker 2 3:52

Yep . <laugh> okay. Yeah. It's a little, it's just a little sneaky treat. Just slip it right in there for people just like a little sneaky tissue . Love to read the original poem that says breast Uhhuh <affirmative> which I'm sure is. <laugh> why the , I mean, if it's in the original, that makes sense. It is because old people said weird. Yeah.

Speaker 3 4:13

Like, yeah. There were a lot of things in here that I changed not to be references, but just to make sense. Yeah. That's the sweet is the down of a thistle.

Speaker 2 4:26

I mean, isn't that like the fuzzy stuff on like the stems of a thistle.

Speaker 3 4:31

Yeah. But it, it was in reference to like a verb

Speaker 2 4:36

The down,

Speaker 3 4:37

What they like in the end of the poem, they like fly away. Softly is the down on it . This one it's like, bro, what, what does that mean

Speaker 2 4:45

Quietly?

Speaker 3 4:47

But thiss , aren't particularly quiet for

Speaker 2 4:50

Planets , but the down on the thistle is quiet because it's soft. So softly. So it's like softly, isn't quiet. And like they used the metaphor and talked about something that was really soft, but

Speaker 3 5:02

Those are two different definitions of the word soft. Like I get it.

Speaker 2 5:05

I see where they're coming from . It's poetry. What do you want from them? Clarity. That seems pretty clear to me, but okay.

Speaker 3 5:14

Just read, just read it.

Speaker 2 5:15

Well, it's not like they knew what like fluffy, she of blankets would be like,

Speaker 3 5:20

I feel bad for them then I never thought about

Speaker 2 5:22

It that way. Yeah . So I I'm saying so of course the down of a thistle would be the softest thing they could think of, which is weird. Like when rabbits did exist mm-hmm <affirmative> but you know, teach their own mm-hmm <affirmative> I'm just saying, you know, I lost my place. It's not <laugh> . Um, okay. So let's just, okay. <affirmative> let me take the line again. Mm-hmm <affirmative> we'll start there from the. Mm-hmm <affirmative> from the, the moon on the of the new fallen. Snow gave a luster of midday to objects below. When what to their wondering eyes did appear, but a miniature sleigh and ate tiny reindeer with a little old driver. So lively and quick, they all knew in a moment. He must be St . Nick. Okay. So hold on. Now I'm questioning again. So we all saw miniatures like little tiny toy size reindeer, sleigh, and maam . And we thought that's gotta be the real Santa . That can't be a child's toy. That can't be a Christmas decoration.

Speaker 3 6:24

I mean, that is the original. It is specifically a miniature in the original.

Speaker 2 6:29

So did they mean miniature? Like it was really far away. It was that's right . That's

Speaker 3 6:33

The thought that is what I , that is the way that I interpreted. But they ,

Speaker 2 6:37

But they hear a clatter because it's on the roof. Well I'm ,

Speaker 3 6:41

If it was small , they see them far away as he's like kind of taking the turn to fly in and then you can't see him when he is on the roof, you know?

Speaker 2 6:49

Yeah. But like what clatter did they hear then? Cause he wasn't on the roof yet. That's what I'm saying. I have questions. That's fair. And I know that this it's not on you. It's not

Speaker 3 7:00

<laugh> I made a lot of dumb mistakes in this one, but that was

Speaker 2 7:04

Not it I've never so badly wanted to conduct a sea <laugh> to find out some answers, you know,

Speaker 3 7:12

Maybe, maybe next episode, maybe

Speaker 2 7:14

Next episode .

Speaker 3 7:16

Maybe that'll be , that'll be more P content.

Speaker 2 7:19

Oh , oh , okay. Yep . More rapid than deadlines. His Coors , they came and he whistled and shouted and called them by name now Adderall <laugh>

Speaker 3 7:35

You gotta do it. You gotta do it. I'm really proud of this

Speaker 2 7:38

Part. Okay. Okay. Hold on. I guess I should, if I wanna really go for it, I should give it a voice. Right? This is Santa that we're talking about. Buddy's miniature. <laugh> okay , go ahead . Now . UN UN to the top of the porch to the top of the wall . Oh wait. No, that's still his line , man. I'm doing a bang up job. Mm-hmm <affirmative> to the top of the porch to the top of the wall now . Oh , just like brilliant ideas floating out of you head <laugh> . Oh, was I not supposed to read the type of

Speaker 3 8:20

Yours opposed to be psychic and understand <laugh> um ,

Speaker 2 8:25

That's true. We do have a rule in our house. Telepaths only. Yeah .

Speaker 3 8:28

Okay . Okay . Hate explaining shape

Speaker 2 8:30

Telepath only. Okay . Just like brilliant ideas floating out of your head. As soon as you're asked to explain what you meant. So up to the house, up the cor they flew corers . Is that a word for reindeer or like something that's pulling your vehicle? Yeah,

Speaker 3 8:48

I think it's something that they,

Speaker 2 8:50

I still have so many questions for old timey people valid. So up to the house, top the corers, they flew with the slay full of gifts in St . Nicholas two and then in a twinkling, they heard on the roof, the Pring and pie of each little Hof , I should say. Okay. So maybe they are miniatures the whole time. Yeah. That's fun. I never caught that detail. <laugh> this is weird. I don't get it. It doesn't make sense, but I like it <laugh> as they scooped up the cats and were turning around through the window , St . Nicholas left with a bound , he was dressed all in fur from his head to his feet and his clothes reflect with cookie crumbles and Slee , a bundle of gifts. He had flung on his back and he looked like a Pedler just opening his pack, his eyes. How they twinkled his dimples, how Mary his cheeks were roses his nose like a cherry, his draw little mouth was drawn up like a bow. And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow, the end of a tightness <laugh> he's pipe smoking is bad kids. Mm-hmm <affirmative> but I just wanted to, you know, bring it into the, the 21st century. Yeah. Did you , did you , did you , I think I did reading . This is torture. You're so welcome . Happy . Okay. Oh , okay . Everybody. I can do this. You got this, the end of a vape. He held tighten his teeth and the smoke had encircled his head leg , a REA he had a brought and a little round belly that shook when he left like a bowl full of jelly. Oh. It's like that jars a clay song. What ? Oh , wait. No, not Georgia . Clay's a DC talk. <laugh> yeah. Yeah . It's <laugh> I would love to know what you're talking about right now . Okay . So for all those Christian kids out there, <laugh> , you know what I'm talking about? I bet there is a very popular song or, or a song that was very popular in the evangelical Christian community in the nineties and early OTs . Um, it was a song called Jesus freak by DCT . And you may have heard it. I definitely have. Yes. Um, what does that have to do with Santa vaping? Double it's. He has like a big, like a little route , like a belly that Jes around like jelly Uhhuh. And there's a, pre-courses the pre-course lyrics wrapped by Toby Mac . Another , another favorite of the Evangel community . No, Toby Mac is a , I saw a man with a TA on his big fat belly wiggled around like marmalade jelly and okay. I didn't remember that. Yeah. The , the tattoo says Jesus saves and like that , you know , you know, there's other stuff there, but painting a real picture for us. Toby. Thank you. Yeah. Um, okay. So , uh , was my first touchstone for somebody having a little jelly belly <laugh> um , like the beans . Yeah. Anyways. Okay . So excuse me. We had taco about today . We did. Okay. Ooh . Okay. With a Ry little grin and a puff of his pen, he asked them both. Why are you still awake then beating Zelda said , Sylvie watching sea sheep said Jordan, but at four in the morning, Santa asked quite disheartened. You're supposed to be nestled all snug in your bed with visions of sugar plums up in your heads. But before he could argue or send them to sleep, Jordan lit up like fireworks and jumped up. Jordan lit up like fireworks and jumped to her feet. Did you know she exclaimed with the wave of her hands, sugar plums. Aren't real plums. They're hard candy. In fact, the history is riveting. Let me just find the book. And she runs to the book cell or as she runs to the bookshelf Sylvie threw him a look or no. Oh my God. I can't read. Sorry Jared. Thank you. I'm just a little, little LA, just a little sad . A little man. You're doing amazing sweat. I'm trying so hard. Okay. As she ran to the bookshelf, Sylvie threw him a look. If you want to get out before boxing day, you should grab all the cookies and go run away. So while Jordan searched, he went straight to his work and filled all the stockings and turned with a jerk and giving a nod, both exhausted and kind Satan. Nick rolled up his pack out the window. He climbed, he S sprained his sleigh to his, sorry. He will . He sprang to his sleigh. Mm-hmm <affirmative> to his team, gave a whistle and a way they all flew like the down of a thistle, but I heard him exclaim in a voice deep and sure , happy Christmas to all into all learn par core the end . Oh wait, wait, sorry. I need to, I , can I take that the ending again? Oh yeah, of course. Okay. He sprang to his sleigh to his team, gave a whistle and the way they all flew, like the down of a thistle makes sense to me. Okay. But I heard him exclaim in a voice deep and sure . Happy Christmas to all and all

Speaker 3 15:01

Learn . I love that. It said deep and sure . And then you still sent that into the stratosphere.

Speaker 2 15:08

Why did you ask me to read this? If you didn't want my artistic in interpretation? You know, <laugh> <laugh>

Speaker 3 15:16

No, I , I , I knew what I signed up for.

Speaker 2 15:19

Yeah. So that one seems like it's on you. Honestly. It seems like a you problem. <laugh> the youngest sibling urge and ability to make my problems other people's problems. You sure do. I sure do.

Speaker 3 15:31

Thank you. You so much for your dramatic reading of ,

Speaker 2 15:37

Uh , poem. You're welcome for bringing your beautiful words to life. Couldn't have done it without your hard work honored. Yeah , truly. I would also just like to thank Ned and Rooter . Geez . The timing. Mm . The timing of on that outstanding. Okay. Hold on. Done . Okay .

Speaker 3 16:03

Sorry, baby .

Speaker 2 16:05

Should we do the end ?

Speaker 3 16:07

Yes. Cool . Let's do the end credits. I need to look those up real <laugh>

Speaker 2 16:13

Anyways. How'd I do theater major how'd I do stunning theater major how'd I do. <laugh>

Speaker 3 16:20

So good. I have no complaints. I'm not being threatened of my own

Speaker 2 16:26

Volition and I I'm writing this review from a safe location and it's definitely my primary location. It's definitely not a secondary location. That I'm totally okay .

Speaker 3 16:37

That's great. Okay. Okay. This has been oral learn parkour from wholehearted production company.

Speaker 2 16:46

You can find us on Spotify, apple podcast, Stitcher, et cetera , et cetera . You know, places where cool people find their podcast special.

Speaker 3 16:53

Thanks to Korea ship for our cover art design. You can find her at pet hop . That's P E T a L H O P on Instagram, Twitter and Etsy.

Speaker 2 17:04

Yeah. Uh , Jesus. <laugh> how you doing? I'm like, I have a frog in my throat from laughing really hard earlier. And so I've just been like struggling with that for the latter half of the poem and now , and I'm very sorry. Okay. Thanks to Tom Rosenthal for our theme song, there is a dark place off of the album. Keep a private room behind the shop. I would also say just as a recommendation, you should listen to Tom Rosenthal's Christmas songs. It's love . They're

Speaker 3 17:28

Lovely. They're lovely. They're really, really

Speaker 2 17:30

Good. Mm-hmm <affirmative> they do hurt

Speaker 3 17:31

A little. Oh yeah. Big OIE .

Speaker 2 17:33

But Christmas quiet is my favorite Christmas song of all time. Mm-hmm <affirmative> and it is for a reason. It's a good one. Tom Rosenthal, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.

Speaker 3 17:47

Uh , yeah, you can follow us on me . I don't know what else to say to that. Yeah. Tom Rosen, all rules. Mm-hmm <affirmative> um , you can follow us on the, so Mead for more of this bullshit@orlearnparkourontwitteratwearewpconinstagramandatwerwpc.com

Speaker 2 18:05

And you can find all the links to that. In our episode description,

Speaker 3 18:09

You can also find a link too . And this is a new and exciting piece of news. Our buzz sprout affiliate link. We are now buzz sprout affiliates, which means that if you are inspired and wanna start your own podcast , uh, if that's your new year's resolution or what have you, and you sign up through our link, you get a discount and a , an Amazon gift card, I think. Uh , and we get some money that helps us make this show. Uh , and it's a good time for everyone around , uh , yeah . Sharing

Speaker 2 18:41

That link. If we can make a podcast, chances are, you can make a podcast.

Speaker 3 18:45

Yeah. So take hard . Yeah. Hop on it. You got this. Yeah. If you, if you enjoy this podcast and would like to hear more, don't forget to follow, subscribe, all of those good things.

Speaker 2 19:00

Yeah. Yeah. And if you wanna take it a step further, leave us a review, share the show with a friend or an enemy could be fun. Little spicy, little fun enemies to friends, to love over speed. Run for you. I don't know how, but you could. I bet you could make it work. You could bond over

Speaker 3 19:17

Our show. Drama bonding.

Speaker 2 19:20

<laugh> we also have a COFI if you wanna just give us money, please. We sure . Oh , um , and the COFI you can find a link to that on our Twitter and our Graham .

Speaker 3 19:32

You sure can. Mm-hmm <affirmative> uh , I'm Jordan and I'm Sylvie . And this has been Forer park war , happy holidays. And we'll see you in two weeks. Stay warm ,

Speaker 4 19:45

Mike , the do .