Or, Learn Parkour: An ADHD Podcast

OLP 021: Pantsless Bear, American Mouth

August 09, 2021 Jordan Rawlings & Lex Kathryn Season 1 Episode 21
OLP 021: Pantsless Bear, American Mouth
Or, Learn Parkour: An ADHD Podcast
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Or, Learn Parkour: An ADHD Podcast
OLP 021: Pantsless Bear, American Mouth
Aug 09, 2021 Season 1 Episode 21
Jordan Rawlings & Lex Kathryn

In episode 21 of Or, Learn Parkour: join us for more sweet flips than ever before. In light of the recent Olympics news, join Lex & Jordan as they discuss the complicated and strange rules of getting into Japan and competing in the games while trying to manage your ADHD meds. We sure couldn't do it! We can, however, possibly answer the age-old question: how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

Thanks for listening!

CW/TW: Mental health, ADHD, explicit language, loud noises, yelling, rambling, mouth noises, garbled speech, discussion of eating food, racism in the film industry, mild bullying, ableism


Cover art by: Krizia Perito

Theme: There Is A Dark Place

Wholehearted Production Co.





Mental Health Resources:





Show Notes Transcript

In episode 21 of Or, Learn Parkour: join us for more sweet flips than ever before. In light of the recent Olympics news, join Lex & Jordan as they discuss the complicated and strange rules of getting into Japan and competing in the games while trying to manage your ADHD meds. We sure couldn't do it! We can, however, possibly answer the age-old question: how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

Thanks for listening!

CW/TW: Mental health, ADHD, explicit language, loud noises, yelling, rambling, mouth noises, garbled speech, discussion of eating food, racism in the film industry, mild bullying, ableism


Cover art by: Krizia Perito

Theme: There Is A Dark Place

Wholehearted Production Co.





Mental Health Resources:





OLP 021: Pantsless Bear, American Mouth

Introduction (00:00:00):

[Intro audio: "There is a Dark Place," by Tom Rosenthal]

Jordan (00:29):

Hi, I’m Jordan.


And I'm Lex.


And this is Or, Learn Parkour.

Lex (00:32):

A podcast about ADHD done by two people who very much do have ADHD.

Jordan (00:36):

And also ice packs right now, because it is a hot, hot Chicago summer night, y'all.

Lex (00:46):

Yeah, I mean I'm trying to be grateful because it's not as bad as it's been. Right?

Jordan (00:50):

That's true. But also the other hot nights we've had, we haven't been in a blanket fort, so kind of cancels out.

Lex (00:54):

Yes. It does, but we do have ice packs. We have water, you know, just really soaking up the stench of this blanket fort right now

Jordan (01:05):

I'm so sorry that you can smell things. I can't.

Lex (01:09):

I know. I didn't want to be the one to be like, yeah, ‘cause you can't fucking smell, on our podcast just to be, it felt very mean, very mean-spirited. We are best friends and roommates.

Jordan (01:20):

And you've earned the right to dunk on me. If you would like to.

Lex (01:24):

Yeah but I'm not going to shit on you for not being able to smell. It really was out of your control.

Jordan (01:29):

It was out of my control, but I guess heretofore, henceforth, forwardeth, you hereby have permission to roast me for my lack of smell.

Lex (01:40):

Sick. [Inaudible] I can smell super good all the time. My nose is like a weird little bloodhound and Jordan already had a definitely working, good schnoz, but I did kind of already have a leg up and then you did go and get the covids. And now you can't smell things.

Jordan (02:00):

I can't.

Lex (02:05):

Which is fine. We are in a blanket fort together very often. And we are in a blanket fort after we've both done separate and together workouts and house chores and stuff.

Jordan (02:14):

That's never happened. I don't know what you're talking about. That sounds like it'd be unfortunate though.

Lex (02:19):

I mean it's a little gross smelling in here. I'll be real. Yeah. So just gonna soak in this stinky energy.

Jordan (02:28):

Just absorb the stank.

Lex (02:30):

Just send some of that stench right over just through those airwaves. Yeah, for real, it's not that bad. I'm just whining. ‘Cause it's a little hot in here.


My knees are very sweaty. 


Yeah. We do have ice packs though. And you know who's sweating a lot more than we are?




Olympians. Olympic athletes are 98% of the time, I would bet, purposefully and intentionally sweating a lot more than we are.

Jordan (02:59):

Oh yeah, for sure. I will say. 


Or have they moved beyond sweat? 


I don't think that that Russian sharpshooter with the Witcher medallion, sweated sweat. Sweat is still sweat, past tense, right?


I think so.


So, okay. Yeah. I don't think she sweat a single dang drop.

Lex (03:14):

I mean she's already so cool. Like ice cold. I don't think maybe you saw something glistening. You think it's sweat. That's condensation. ‘Cause she's that cool.


She's that frosty.


We're talking about the Olympics this week, which may be of a bit of a zag or maybe not what you expected when you turned on a podcast that you either thought was about the act of doing parkour, or you did know that this was a podcast about ADHD, the attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

Jordan (03:47):

Surprise, this one's actually about parkour and why it should be in the Olympics.

Lex (03:57):

‘Cause it's cool. The end. Okay bye. See you in some weeks.

Jordan (04:03):

[Inaudible] team, let's wrap it up and get some Slurpees.

Lex (04:06):

Oh, where's the Gatorade? Someone get me that, oh wait someone give me that big Gatorade.


I'll dump it right on you.

Lex (04:12):

Well I want to dump it on myself. I want to have that honor.


If you do that can I be the one who's like, we're going to Disneyland!

Lex (04:17):

Yeah. Sweet. So yeah.

Jordan (04:22):

I'm glad podcasting's not an Olympic sport. ‘Cause I don't think we'd be doing great.

Lex (04:26):

Well that's uh, you know, we've-

Jordan (04:31):

If you get points for staying on topic, that is.

Lex (04:33):

If that's what you get points for. It's subjective. We were finalists. We were in the top 10 comedy podcasts of 2020. Like, we were in direct competition with John Mulaney and Nick Kroll. So they're like the gymnast Simone Biles to comedy, you know. It's a really, really poor comparison, but they're there.

Jordan (04:58):

Hold on, wait, wait, wait, wait. I would like to invite you into a space with me where we can both sit and imagine that.

Lex (05:06):

Imagine John Mulaney and Nick Kroll doing gymnastics, like Simone Biles? I really prefer not to. I prefer not to subject my inner eyes to that. I prefer not to disrupt my inner peace and tranquility. I reject that.

Jordan (05:20):

I will say though, if there is any male comedian who could rock the sparkly stage eyeliner, it would absolutely be Nick Kroll.

Lex (05:29):

Oh yeah, I'm not saying that they can't. I just personally, no thank you.

Jordan (05:31):

Fair enough. We can move on then.

Lex (05:33):

But I'm just saying we're not that bad at podcasting, but I guess that's not really our call.

Jordan (05:39):

Fair enough. And it's not an Olympic sport, so we don't really have to worry about it.

Lex (05:42):

Yeah. That is also true. But the people who are in the Olympics, some of them do have ADHD. So this is a bit of a squares and rectangles situation. Not everyone who has ADHD is in the Olympics and, and not everyone who's in the Olympics has ADHD either.

Jordan (05:59):

I was wondering where you were going to go with that. I was like, wait.

Lex (06:02):

No. I said squares and rectangles because I'm wrong. I was in remedial geometry in ninth grade because I almost failed it.

Jordan (06:11):

I was in honors geometry, but that's only because they actively wanted me to suffer. I got a C in that class.

Lex (06:16):

Yeah. I got a C in remedial geometry. So yeah, but you know what I mean? There's an overlap. I'm trying to set up a really nice stage for you to tell us about people who are in the Olympics who have ADHD or who are neurodiverse. And I was trying to do it in a slick, funny way. And I feel like everyone who's reading or listening along can attest to that. I'm sorry.

Jordan (06:42):

I'm sorry. I'll rein it back in.

Lex (06:44):

I would encourage you all to just tweet at Jordan and tell them how much more right I am right now. Okay. And do we even know what I'm right about? No, I just am.

Jordan (06:57):

Just generally, just as a state, it's like solid, liquid, gas, right.

Lex (07:03):

Solid, liquid, gas, correct. Everyone else is allowed to be wrong. It's okay. You're allowed to be wrong, audience member. 


That's your right. It's in the constitution. 


That's it. That's all I have to say. You're allowed to be wrong. I rest my case. That's one of my favorite ways to just really derail an argument or debate.

Jordan (07:28):

Like agree to disagree, but so much tastier. You gotta squeeze a lime on there.

Lex (07:32):

It's agree to disagree, but squeezing a lime onto an open wound. It's very rude. It's very rude and very much a power struggle that you don't even make a struggle if you do it right. You know, you just kind of slip it in there. Like, that's okay. You're allowed to be wrong.

Jordan (07:51):

And that has to simmer for a second. You have time to walk away before they go, hey!

Lex (07:54):

Yeah. Fun fact about me. I did model UN and I did a lot of political science and diplomacy international relations stuff in college because of my degree, which is a time.

Jordan (08:08):

Audience while you're tweeting at me about being wrong, feel free and let us know if that wasn't really obvious about you just by the everything.

Lex (08:18):

Okay, so listen. The point here is that my professor who was in charge of the model UN stuff, and when we went to Chicago to compete at the collegiate level for the model United Nations, when we were preparing we looked at different personality types in business leadership, high-power fields. We looked at all the different types of personalities and true to form I don't remember any of them very much really at all, except for the one that I got called. 


And what was that?


Shark. Yeah. No, I mean, I'm just mean. I can find your weaknesses, will find them, pinpoint them and I will not pull any punches. And when I shoot, I shoot to kill, in a diplomatic way. Yeah. I mean, did my professor at some point say, well, you know, just because you didn't get your resolution passed, that is a bummer, but you know what? I really appreciate how after that happened, you just made a really big effort to be as much of a nuisance as possible to every single person in that room. And I think what that means is I'm a very sore loser. And if people don't agree with me, I don't make their lives very easy. So it's a really good thing. I'm not actually in diplomacy or politics, I think is the life lesson here.

Jordan (09:31):

What? Okay, sorry. I was still thinking about the russian sharpshooter. Anyways, you were saying diplomacy, world's uniting. Those kind of things.

Lex (09:42):

Like at the Olympics. This is a great time for diplomacy. Or a very weird time for diplomacy, depending on what your relationship’s like as countries.

Jordan (09:54):

I guess. I feel like you don't need to be the person to be like, oh, hey, our presidents are fighting so screw you in particular, whose fault this definitely is.

Lex (10:03):

No, but the politics of deciding which countries get to host when, and how that all goes and the entire historical reason for the Olympic games, including so many different countries at this point is based very much in diplomacy because as we all know, sports is the watered down war, apparently, allegedly, as someone who has a masters in anthropology, it's not quite that level.


All kinds of intricate rituals. 


Yeah. And also I think it's really interesting how people talk about sports being a replacement for war when war is still very much not replaced. We still have it. I wish sports were a replacement for war.

Jordan (10:37):

That'd be great. Yeah, that'd be phenomenal. I would be all for that.

Lex (10:43):

But instead. You know, we just send some folks, our finest and brightest and they do some sick tricks with their bodies that none of us could ever possibly hope to achieve. So that's pretty wicked. And we're going to talk about that now.

Jordan (10:58):

Yeah. So specifically the reason that we wanted to talk about the Olympics on our ADHD podcast, it's not actually about parkour. Although I maintain that it would be a dope Olympic sport, but as many of you probably saw in the news, in some of the conversations about sports and mental health that have been happening, America's sweetheart Olympic champion, unrivaled gymnast, and light of my personal life, Simone Biles, as many of you know, has ADHD. And recently there have been some articles and news stories published about how her ADHD medications are banned from the Tokyo Olympics. So we kind of wanted to talk about that and her whole story of ADHD and sports, and also dive a little bit more into, what else were we going to talk about?

Lex (11:49):

That's it. ADHD meds and having, having ADHD and other, just generally being in the spotlight.

Jordan (11:55):

Yeah. ADHD in sports, what it's like to be in the spotlight for that, all of those sorts of things. We are obviously not the people who are starting these conversations. So big thanks to the athletes who have done that, but I don't know where I was going with that sentence.

Lex (12:09):

How are you doing?

Jordan (12:13):

Good. I'm good. I'm just, the Adderall is wearing out. It's like nine something. Let's do it. So for starters, I will give a little bit of an overview look of what's been going on since I saw that article and went, wait, what the hell is happening? And then it turned out to be a whole nother thing. So I mean, you saw those articles, right?

Lex (12:33):

Yeah, I mean I did. And we've talked about it a bit amongst just the two of us. But if you could just give like, we're trapped in an elevator for five minutes only max, what is the rundown?

Jordan (12:47):

On it. So long story hopefully short, what happened was recently Simone Biles made news for stepping away from the part of the Olympics she was in for mental health reasons. Some people wondered if that had to do with her ADHD and some further research brought up the fact that her medications are actually banned from the Tokyo Olympics. And the nuance of that is really interesting because they're not banned by the Olympic committee, which is what it kind of sounded like to me. They're banned by Japan on the whole. In Japan stimulant medications are super duper illegal. There are some prescription medications that you can bring in for certain purposes that are generally illegal in Japan, but you can request specific paperwork to bring in a small dosage of, for specific prescribed reasons. You have to get a doctor's note and do a bunch of paperwork. And Ritalin is one of those, which is, I believe, what Simone Biles has said that she takes because it's technically considered by the Japanese government a psychotropic medication, not a stimulant. So she can fill out the paperwork and bring that into the country. However, Adderall and other strictly, I'm doing air quotes right now, stimulant medications are just not allowed. They're not applicable for that paperwork sort of pass. You don't get an exemption, you get arrested. So if you're an Olympic athlete, anyone I'm sure that, you know, the rates of having ADHD in the adult population are reasonable. Some studies have shown that the rates of having ADHD amongst adults who are professional athletes is literally twice as high. So you're trying to get into the country. Maybe you manage to work with your doctor to get on this specific medication that you can travel internationally with, you switch over your meds, you get this paperwork done. Then you get into the country and try and compete in the Olympics. And the world anti-doping committee has their own whole separate set of rules about what you can and can't take. So that's actually what brought Simone Biles and her ADHD to the forefront in, I want to say 2016, was that the world anti-doping agency got hacked and published this 19-year-old girl's medical records, which is an absolute, ridiculous shitshow in and of itself, you know.

Lex (15:21):

Those are a lot of levels of a lot of things. And we probably don't have time to unpack all of that.

Jordan (15:29):

Yeah, no, but all that to say they got hacked, they published this information that Simone Biles had tested positive for, I think methylphenidate. And she said, yeah, yeah, it's in my system. I have ADHD. And I'm not ashamed of that. I've taken medication since I was young. There's nothing wrong with that, which is incredible. It sucks that she had to be in the position to do that at all. But with the stigma around ADHD, that's being enforced by these organizations that are demonizing medication in this way. I appreciate the people out there who are saying, no, I have ADHD. No, I take meds for it. No, I'm not ashamed of that. I hate that she was in a position where she had to, but anyways. So that's what happened.

Lex (16:14):

Okay. So the basic rundown, people are talking shit about Simone Biles and saying that she's relying on ADHD as an excuse that she's using ADHD and mental illness generally as a cop-out and that, you know, she can't, quote unquote, handle the pressure and like all these things that are, I mean, let's all be honest, probably coming from a place of intense envy and fear.

Jordan (16:42):

Oh yeah, no, I have not seen a single athlete who understands what she's going through and understands with their own body, the skill it takes to do her job safely without paralyzing yourself, I've heard nobody who actually understands that criticize her.

Lex (17:01):

Oh yeah, no. And I think the other token of this, right, is that there are a lot of people who have been shitting on Simone Biles and then it's come out with other different athletes stepping forward and explaining their own personal histories with medication and mental illness and disabilities. And it's started a wider conversation. Not started, but it sparked a wider conversation right now. So, you know, we just kind of wanted to touch on it because the main thing is A) not only is it cool as shit that there are so many people being really open about their diagnoses and whether or not they take medication and how that affects their day to day life, even though they are these gods amongst men sort of beings that walk amongst us. And I know they're actually just human. I know they're just people like you and me. I know that, but their bodies can do some really sick shit.

Jordan (17:56):

Incredibly powerful, incredibly talented, awe-inspiring, in the very literal sense of the word, humans.

Lex (18:04):

Yes. And so it's just really cool to see what our planet puts forward, what all these countries put forward as their finest. These are the cream of the crop, right? These are the people who are the best at what they do. And so for people on a global spotlight to just be like, hey, no, hold on, fuck you, we're having this conversation. I think that's really cool. And I think the biggest thing is, you know, we wanted to kind of highlight, okay, well, here's the thing: making a podcast is very hard and bringing you lots of fun, fresh, sexy information every week or every other week or every couple of weeks, it's hard. And so for this week we were just kind of like, what should we talk about, hey, fuck, this is happening in the Olympics. So here we are. Keep it real. That's what's going on.

Jordan (18:56):

I mean, how does it make you feel to see that conversation happening? Is there anything that you want to add to it?

Lex (19:00):

Well, I mean, what I just said about, it's really cool. What gets me the most about it is thinking about, specifically in the case of Simone Biles, of all of the young girls, and specifically young black girls, who are going to look at Simone Biles, and who are already looking up to her, seeing that this is something that she has lived with and this is how her brain works. And A) it's totally normal, and B) she's basically a superhero and sometimes can't do stuff because of her ADHD. And so I think that that is just such a cool showcasing that you can achieve literally whatever you want to if you put your mind to it. I know that there are barriers. I know that, please don't at me. I know that that's a much more complicated thing.

Jordan (19:47):

Yep. That's a number of other episodes.

Lex (19:49):

Yes. But if you're young, if you have ADHD or if you are neurodivergent and you're young and you see these people, it's so inspiring for me as an adult that I can't even imagine having the emotion and brain of a kid, looking up to someone and feeling that. So I think it's really cool when I look at it that way. I also just think that it's cool for people to be like, hey, no, fuck you, no. I think it's been really cool how a lot of the athletes themselves have been shutting things down. And then also it has been really cool to see all of the people who have leapt to their defense and Simone Biles’ defense of like, okay, hold on, yeah, hold on, that's not okay. Listen, if you have a problem, excuse me. I guess that's the other emotion I'm feeling is hello, you, crusty white man working at the New York Times or whatever the fuck, you want to tell me that this person is copping out. You want to tell me that Simone Biles is using this as an excuse or copping out. Literally the greatest gymnast in American history so far, bar none.

Jordan (21:02):

You go do half of what she tries to. Most of these people can't even do.

Lex (21:06):

I would say try, but don't because you will hurt yourself. So jot that down. Anyways. Those are my other emotions. What about you? I mean, you mentioned that you think it's really cool.

Jordan (21:18):

Oh yeah, no, I completely agree with you. The contrast between how amazing it is to hear those messages, but also to see how big the voice is that is saying that's wrong and you shouldn't need medication and you should be better than that, et cetera, et cetera is kind of overwhelming because I think that that's the thing that really struck me when researching this was just the fact that ADHD meds are [inaudible]

Lex (21:47):

Okay, see, you're mad. You seemed really like you're about to go kind of in an inspiring heartwarming direction. And then all of a sudden you started talking about things that you don't like, but with your ‘passionate about things in a theater way’ sort of voice. I just got very confused. 


No, that's fair. I am still passionate but you're right. It is going into an angry passionate place. Because it's absurd that ADHD medication is banned by the anti-doping commissioner, whatever sort of organizations there are. I understand that.

Lex (22:18):

I don't know about Japan. I don't know enough about, that's a whole other country's government. If we have any Japanese audience members, godspeed.

Jordan (22:27):

I don't know enough about that to really take a swing at an entire country sized wasps’ nest. But it does make my heart go out to people in Japan, with ADHD who have even more of a barrier to getting the meds that could really help them. I feel like it's a pain in the ass sometimes here in the United States where it's a controlled substance and I have ten different people going, are you a person who clearly has ADHD and no history of addiction, really? Can we really trust you? And we're only going to fill this once every three months on one specific day that you have to remember and keep track of, the person who was diagnosed with being bad at keeping track of things.

Lex (23:10):

Yeah. No, I mean, what I've come to realize, I'm just going to say this about Japan. It seems like a very cool place. A lot of media that has come out of Japan is stuff that I've really dug and loved. And at some point I would love to visit Japan, but sometimes when I hear things about Japan, I don't think I'll be super welcome there. Firstly, I wouldn't be allowed to take my medication. Which is kind of a big deal. It would be a pretty big bummer for me. And then also I have so many tattoos and apparently that's really not okay in Japan. If that's changed, I hope it's changed, then Japan here I come. But so far it's not looking good, friends.

Jordan (23:55):

We'll wave from Alaska. Somebody made the observation- and I will link to the article in the episode description here, that pointed this out originally- but you know, there are some things like don't want people to take steroids for the purpose of building muscle.

Lex (24:08):

Okay. So we're back to being angry. Okay.

Jordan (24:11):

Yes. You don't want to take things that are going to harm your body and give you an unnatural advantage. And I get that that's kind of a hard to define thing, but A) there's a bunch of general things, like you can't take Sudafed.

Lex (24:25):

If you can't breathe through your nose, fuck you.

Jordan (24:27):

Yeah, no, Sudafed can't be in your system. You have to stop taking it a couple days before. So if you've been training for this event your whole life and you're at peak physical performance and you know, traveling internationally and being under a ton of stress and in a new environment and new climate gives you a cold or a migraine, sucks to suck that your life has just been a waste. And that's a bummer, dude.

Lex (24:53):

You just got to live with the sniffles at the Olympic games, sorry.

Jordan (25:01):

Or, you know, live with not breathing because albuterol for asthma attacks is also not allowed. 

Lex (25:09):

Yeah, no, I have an inhaler. How is that not allowed? 


Apparently there are ways to use it regularly in tandem with other drugs that have, in some cases, been shown to build muscle, but also you don't need to breathe to do the Olympics. Right?

Lex (25:27):

It is wild. It's wild to me conceptually. But when I think it through, I guess it makes sense. I think their jump would be, they're not using it because they don't need it. So they must be using it because they want it, which is a very stupid logical jump. But I see how that happened. ‘Cause I have worked in customer service quite a bit.


Sometimes you do have to assume the worst about people. 


Yeah. I have never really fully bought into the idea of original sin ever, except for I did very heavily consider it when I worked at the bar.

Jordan (26:07):

Sometimes somebody just comes up to you and asks if you can hollow out two loaves of bread to wear as shoes, please. And a part of you just dies and it will never come back.

Lex (26:17):

Yeah. Sometimes a customer will put you in a headlock or threaten to punch you in the face if you don't take the gratuity off of the receipt which it's already built into.

Jordan (26:30):

Sometimes the customer just accuses you of downloading pool boy porn onto their phone as a joke when they're a 50-year-old man and you're in high school.

Lex (26:37):

Yeah, it's a time. So that's a heavy topic. I'm sorry. Anyways, so people do suck sometimes. So I can see where maybe they would be a little pessimistic. I'm imagining just a group of grumpy old grandpas like, these kids and their inhalers.

Jordan (26:58):

There are, to be fair, opportunities to get what they call a therapeutic use waiver, which I believe is what Simone Biles either has done or is able to do for her Ritalin. But again, it kind of goes back to, I guess in specifically the case of ADHD, the whole barrier of how complicated it is to get accommodations for a disorder that makes that barrier even more significant. It's like to get contacts you have to be a champion archer. Like you have to hit the bullseye from a hundred feet away kind of a thing.

Lex (27:32):

Yeah. I mean it's pretty fucked up. 


Yeah. No, it's not great. 


That seems to be the sort of point that we're watering down to.


The point that I was getting to with Ritalin specifically is that some of the common side effects of Ritalin are loss of appetite, nervousness, trouble sleeping, shortness of breath and increased heart rate. Which of those would be any benefit to an athlete, you know?

Lex (28:00):

Well, the world knows, but the Olympic committee may never know.

Jordan (28:05):

It's just up there with how many licks does it take to get the center of a Tootsie pop? We're just not meant to solve this very simple problem,

Lex (28:12):

But not focused enough to just do the licks and count. Do you know what the problem is? The owl doesn't have ADHD. The owl was not instant gratification in an ADHD way. ‘Cause you know, if someone with ADHD is like, how many licks does it take? I'm going to do every single lick to get to the center of the Tootsie pop.

Jordan (28:32):

I'm going to try every color. I need to know. And also do the wrappers have any of those little guys shooting at the star? ’Cause I heard once that those get you a free Tootsie pop, but I didn't know if that was true, but you have to save the wrappers just in case. And then you get all the colors and then how much is it different from a mini Tootsie pop? Is it proportional to the weight of sugar? How does that work?

Lex (28:51):

Exactly. So that owl, while he may have bought into the instant gratification sort of thing, that sometimes is, you know, common in folks.

Jordan (29:01):

Just valuable like any owl. I was about to say human and then I realized that that's not right.

Lex (29:06):

I mean he does talk and I think he, does he have a little graduation cap on?

Jordan (29:11):

I feel like he does. I don't know if he does or if that's just buying into owl stereotypes

Lex (29:14):

Is that Duolingo? Who has the owl with the little graduation cap. Is that just a thing? 


Is that the owl in Winnie the Pooh? 


No, no. Mr. Owl is the one who is licking the Tootsie pop. 


There's a lot of clip arts. 


Interesting. But no, the owl in Winnie the Pooh, free bird.


He probably did graduate. Right? He's not a doctor owl though.


No, but also, I mean, I have a master's degree, but I don't go around wearing my fucking master's cape just for fun around town. 


I had a professor who did that. 


I know. And it's funny as shit, but I'm not that powerful.

Jordan (29:57):

Professor Cowells, if you're listening to this, godspeed, my dude.

Lex (30:00):

I've heard this story. The sleeves are tough. The sleeves on the master's degree robe cape thing, the sleeves are silly.

Jordan (30:09):

Oh shit. You're so right. He does have a cap.

Lex (30:11):

Thank you. Oh my God. I was about to lose my mind. I was like, I swear he has a graduation cap.

Jordan (30:19):

No, he super does. You're definitely right. Apparently his name is also Mr. Owl too.

Lex (30:23):

Mr. Owl, how many licks does it take?

Jordan (30:28):

Now I'm doubting Winnie the Pooh. He's not also Mr. Owl, right?

Lex (30:32):

No, I think his name is just Owl. You can check though.

Jordan (30:36):

No, you're right. It's just Owl. For some reason, I thought that was Mr. Owl.

Lex (30:40):

My mind is a sealed trap of friendship nuggets, media facts, and children things because I have so many nieces and nephews. The pantsless bear is all I know.

Jordan (30:56):

The pantsless bear. Winnie the Pooh really kicked off hot girl summer.

Lex (30:58):

Winnie the Pooh is who I strive to be every day. I mean, you just walk past me in my room, no pants, not usually even underwear [inaudible] ass out, pussy out, dare I say. And instead of a fucking pot of honey, it's just me and my McDonald's soda. No, my honey is The Sims 4 right now. I think my honey is just whatever my DT is occasionally. Or whatever thing, you know what, it's not a honeypot. It's a hyper fixation. 


You cracked it. You cracked the code. 


He can't ever get enough. He needs to get that honey to the point where he's stolen honey from other people going on some really intense adventures going against some Heffalumps. 


It's like a whole hundred acres of wood to explore. 


Yeah. So, you know, chew on that honeypot, hyper fixation.

Jordan (31:52):

Well don’t chew on it. Isn't that what got Mr. Owl in trouble in the first place?

Lex (31:56):

Sorry. He has a little college hat on that, so not finishing the work and just submitting what he's done. 


Very true to the college experience. 


Yes. So, okay. You know what? I take it back. That is very on brand. However, I do maintain that someone with ADHD would be much better equipped for that task.

Jordan (32:19):

I guess it kind of depends if that activates a hyper fixation for you or not. You know, we don't all have the same.

Lex (32:27):

Oh, you know what? I bet he was like, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do every single lick. And then after three licks, he was like, this hurts my tongue. I don't like the sensory experience. ‘Cause that'll do it. I'm thinking I was like, maybe we should do this. Maybe we should actually sit down and see how many licks.

Jordan (32:45):

But then you can the cracks in the lollipop and it pinches your tongue. 

Lex (32:48):

Yeah. And then if you just start licking something for too long, your tongue will just get sore.

Jordan (32:54):

That's fair. I did that with those giant jawbreakers. I had one of those babies I worked on for weeks as a kid.

Lex (32:59):

Yeah. No, I mean, let's not mince any words here. I got fucking down with a giant, big old Gobstopper. 


That's what they're for. That's why they got all the layers.


And my mouth and my tongue and my everything hurt so bad every time. I didn't care though. I just pushed through it. But God, sometimes those layers were like sandpaper.

Jordan (33:22):

But you're so right. It's a miserable experience. But at the end of the day has the most alluring reward of all. Pretty colours.

Lex (33:31):

Yeah. I don't know if I ever finished a giant jawbreaker.

Jordan (33:36):

Hey, what are you doing tomorrow after work?

Lex (33:39):

Finishing a giant fucking jawbreaker. That's a lot of aggression. What's your Dopamine Trampoline?

Jordan (33:44):

Mine this week is Ted Lasso. I am late to the game. I know Ted Lasso kind of already came out. Season one came out last year and everyone was like, oh, Ted Lasso, that's a show. And it is, audience. It really is one of the shows.

Lex (34:00):

It is the most show. 


I wouldn't say it's the most show, but it's pretty show. But in all seriousness, I started watching it on the plane home from Washington two weeks ago. And damn you bastards at American Airlines for only having the first two episodes up even though the whole season's out. On a four hour flight I could have watched most of the rest of the season, but no. So I came home and I watched the rest of season one of Ted Lasso in a day.

Lex (34:34):

Okay, so tell me more about this Theodore Circlerope. 


Theodore Circlerope. That's the Aldi brand Ted Lasso. So for those of you who haven't heard of it, it is a show on Apple TV, wherever you pirate shows on the internet, which we shouldn't, we're not encouraging you to do for legal reasons.

Lex (35:01):

Wink. Sorry. Sometimes I just say wink. It's what I say when I mean don't do something. Wink.

Jordan (35:10):

So it's a show about an American college football coach, Theodore Circlerope, who is hired by a soccer club, that's also called football over, across ye old pond, hired by a soccer club in the UK.

Lex (35:28):

So he is hired by a football club. I see. Okay. I was like, why are you just telling people that soccer is called football elsewhere?

Jordan (35:35):

No. He's an American football coach. He is hired to coach UK football, which is soccer, as us yanks know it, and he comes into the club. Everyone kind of goes, dude, what are you doing here? You don't know how to coach football. That was like Russian. Accents are not my specialty. That is not the kind of theater degree I've got.

Lex (36:00):

In Russia the foot balls you, you don't ball the foot. 


I thought the ball foots you. You said the foot balls you. the ball would foot you instead of you foot the ball.


The ball foots you? I didn't get any theater degree.

Jordan (36:21):

How dare you not have perfect grammar in your mid 2010s meme references? How dare you?

Lex (36:27):

Somehow though, still have a better Russian accent than Scarlett Johannson. I mean, I'm feeling spicy today, obviously. Very aggressive. I'm sorry, everybody.

Jordan (36:50):

Honestly, with what she's coming into the room in, do you really think that as an Asian American actress, she's getting called out for a lot of Russian parts? That was probably just not in her wheelhouse.

Lex (37:01):

Yeah, no. I mean, that's why she's suing Disney, actually.

Jordan (37:07):

In all seriousness, godspeed with that lawsuit.

Lex (37:11):

It's kind of like watching two people that you don't care about at all on a personal level, like a couple, fight in the hallway at school, but you know of them and you know about them and you could give less of a shit about the outcome. That's how I feel about this lawsuit.

Jordan (37:25):

Here's the thing. I think that I am rooting for Scarlett Johannson because [inaudible]

Lex (37:30):

Get the sound bite now, did you hear that Jordan is rooting for Scarlett Johannson? 


You piece of shit.


I'm not the one who said it.


I'm rooting for all of these smaller creators and less famous actors and actresses who would benefit from somebody taking Disney down a notch.

Lex (37:53):

That's so valid. If we live in a hellscape where the one person who can take down Disney is somehow Scarlett fucking Johannsen. 


How did we even get on this topic? 


I don't know, I forgot we were doing a podcast. I was just so caught up in the magic.


But anyway. Oh, right. Theodore Circlerope, as played by Scarlett Johansson.


This is why we don't get episodes out to y'all very often. ‘Cause when we do them it's just like a hot mess. It's okay though, folks, I got back on Adderall after two months of not being able to afford it. I laugh. It was rough, but we're getting back into the swing of things. 


Healthcare, everybody. 


Okay. Please do tell me the rest of Ted Lasso.

Jordan (38:48):

Oh yeah. So he gets hired by this UK football team. Everyone's like, this is not the right kind of football. You don't coach this. You're not from here. You know nothing. What are you doing? And he kind of is there to use the power of kindness, essentially, to prove everyone wrong. And there are some twists and turns and you find out the reason that he's actually been hired and all of these things happen. So there's a little bit of intrigue. There's a little bit of, you know, mental game play. But at the end of the day, I don't know if I’d call it a wholesome show because there's some sex, there's some violence. There's a lot of toxic masculinity because it's professional men's sports. So I wouldn't say it's a wholesome show, but it is an incredibly kind show. Ted Lasso’s whole coaching style is based in how do I see these people and make them all feel heard and nurture what is already in them. And he does that to the people around him too. And I don't want to spoil anything, but there is a character who is going through a divorce after a very manipulative, emotionally abusive relationship. And she grows a lot and has amazing people in her life to support her through that. And that's something I feel like I haven't seen a whole lot of on TV before and just incredible female friendships, a lot of space for men to be vulnerable. It's kind. It's an incredibly kind show and you never feel like the rug is going to get pulled out from under you or the kind thing is going to be the stupid thing to do.

Lex (40:24):

That's like the ideal show for you. When it does those things it makes Jordan very sad. If a show does those things? No. I just can't.


I'm tender like a rare wagyu steak, I'm very easily overcooked. 


Yeah. But you're very good steak. So you just stay in that state where you are. If anyone tries to overcook you, fucking tell me and I'll come for them. 


I'm delicious the way I am, goddamnit. Anyways. So that's my dopamine trampoline, Ted Lasso. They just started airing the second season and, very cruelly, they can't just drop all the episodes like everyone else is doing nowadays. They have to release one a week, like it's 1999 or some shit. So I am continuing to bounce on that trampoline. But speaking of bouncing, what is your Dopamine Trampoline this week, Lex?


A different type of circle rope. 


Oh, I see what you did there.


I started jump roping or skipping rope or skipping, jumping, jump rope.


Single Dutch?


Single, sure. I started doing jump rope to get back into fitness. I know I've talked about it a couple of times probably, but if you're new here, I did do weightlifting in college and I did dance competitively most of my life and up until the past couple of years I was very active. And then I stopped being active and my mental health took a turn. My physical health took a turn and now we're coming back out of that. And so I've been trying to find ways to work out that are okay for me as someone who has gained a lot of weight in the past couple of years. Trying to look for things that are safe for me to do. Trying to look for things that are fun. ‘Cause I am so not going to be the person who tells you to just go work out, even if it's not fun, ‘cause I think that you can make a workout fun. I understand it's hard to get motivated and get up in the morning. If you want to be the type of person who gets up and goes and works out. I get that. That's not what I'm talking about. I just mean generally it can be really hard to motivate yourself to even move in the first place. And so if you make it fun and make a game out of it, that's helpful. And that's what I've done ‘cause with jump rope, it's a very childlike activity. It's something I did a lot when I was a kid. It's super fun. You just put on some music, and don't even get me started on the music because finding that sweet spot with that just right BPM. It's perfect. It's like kismet when it happens. So I've been doing that for two plus weeks now. Two weeks and some change where I just do a little bit of jump rope each day. So I mean, I figured I'd talk about it because it's really fun for me. It's not a super complex thing. A lot of different cultures show evidence of jumping over vines and branches and rope, earlier types of rope and vine for fun or for athletic training. We see it all the way back. I think in ancient Egypt is the oldest evidence we have of people using ropes and vines to jump. But it's not concrete and a lot of people disagree on who came up with it first and where it came from. But the point is it's a very simple, easy workout and we've been doing it for thousands of years because it is easy and fun. And I like jump rope ‘cause you can do it by yourself. You can do it with other people. A lot of  people on the internet and Tik Tok have a lot of fun routines and ideas for jump rope-ing. And there's a whole community of people who jump rope. And I was really, I told Jordan about this. I just kind of on a whim was like, okay, I really need to start working out. I hate running and I obviously don't have access to a gym. So what can I do in my office? And my office is a big space, but it's like, what can I do in my office that's not yoga? ‘Cause I have a really hard time keeping up with yoga. Yeah.

Jordan (45:02):

Yeah. And there's also a big, not big, but there's a step down in the middle of the space.

Lex (45:08):

Yeah. I do have a rug over it now, but it's still a dip. It's not the most ideal place to get a good workout in. So I was kind of just like, oh, a jump rope, that could be good. And we have really tall ceilings and enough space and it's like, you're barely moving outside of a square foot area.

Jordan (45:35):

Yeah. It's not like Zumba or something where you're doing a whole mess of side to side stuff.

Lex (45:37):

Yes, and so I started doing that and, folks, let me tell ya, it's hard. I was so sweaty the first time I did it and I've been really sweaty every day since then, but I was so taken aback by how good of a workout it was.

Jordan (45:56):

What was that thing that you told me about, jumping rope is like?

Lex (46:00):

Oh yeah. So I found this fact all over the internet, I don't have the specific scientific research resource on this, right, but everyone seems to be in general agreement of the fact that jump rope is such a high impact, it's a very low impact, but high reward, cardio. So you do have to be careful, right. And then obviously we're not doctors. And so if you want to try jump rope, talk to your PCP or figure out if you can do that on your own, I'm not going to tell you if you can or can't do that. For me, I have been starting a little cautiously, only doing 10, 15 minutes the first couple of days. And now I do it over a period of 20, 30 minutes. But jump rope, if you do 10 minutes straight of jumping rope, it's equivalent to running an eight minute mile.


That's bonkers. 


Yeah. So it has a lot of the same benefits and cardio impact as running and biking but it's much lower impact on your joints, your bones. And if you are a person with boobs, it surprisingly is not actually too high impact on your boobs if you've got a good sort of support system or a sports bra or whatever. Because if you think about the last time you skipped rope, if you have skipped rope in your life, you are not jumping super high all the time because you're just getting that rope up and around your body and then jumping over it and just kind of going for it. So it's like you're hopping, you're not fully-


You're not bounding.

Lex (47:49):

Yeah. And because of the range of motion, if you're doing it correctly, where you're really cushioning the shock of coming back down from that jump, it's pretty low impact. It's lower impact, at least for me, than running. And so it's been really good for that and it's been good for, you know, just getting up and getting my blood flowing. And it's also just kind of felt good to be a little sore, right? Like my muscles. Again, I've been a relatively active and fit person for a lot of my life. And so for this more recent season of my life, I have not been. And I didn't realize just how much I missed being more active regularly but my muscles are awake again. I can actually feel my muscles doing things when I'm just moving around and doing normal activities. I don't just feel like an egg, I don't know.


Eggs famously do not have muscles. So that tracks.


So jump rope. That's it? Oh, wait.


That's not it. Because you said that you found some good songs to jump rope to. 


I did find some really good songs to jump rope to. Again, I'm only two weeks in, and there are people who are way better at this and have been doing it way longer and can do really cool jumpy stuff and have routines. And I don't know, there are people who do competitive jump rope and I'm sure y'all have all seen the hit classic Jump In starring Corbin Bleu. 


A favorite of this podcast. 


Oh yeah. But yeah, Double Dutch is another way that people play and compete and show their athletic prowess and it's just really cool and fun and cute and I love it. There we go. The playlist. The playlist of songs that I have. 


Yes. Lay it on us.


I'm not going to tell you the whole play. I'm not going to list off songs to you, but my top picks so far for songs that have just the right BPM. My Type by Saint Motel, always a classic, very good for dancing and running and just kind of grooving. And as I found out, so good for my jump rope legs. I have very short legs, very long torso and very short legs. So it may seem a little fast to be in the 120 to 130 BPM range for jump roping. But that's about where I sit. The song Crystal Dolphin by Engelwood, another favorite of the podcast. Let's see, Metric’s Black Sheep is very good. Mitski’s Nobody. Song of the summer, millionth year in a row. Very, very good for the jump rope. But the one that has really struck me, the one that is perfect, just perfect for my little gremlin legs is Rasputin by Boney M. It is a great, no, not great, it is the perfect song for me, Lex, to jump rope to. So I've been doing that every day in my office. So the other people in the building, in the other studios and offices, I'm really sorry, but I'm also not sorry that you've heard Boney M playing a couple of times a day.

Jordan (51:11):

To the other people in Lex’s office space, you're welcome.

Lex (51:16):

Yeah. So that's my DT. Yeah. I titled my playlist Skip To It. 


Oh, that's delightful. 


Thank you. I'm very good at coming up with playlist names.

Jordan (51:25):

You are. No, it's kind of scary at this point. They're very good.

Lex (51:29):

I've realized that a lot of this podcast is just me bragging about stuff that I can do really good, and I just need to say that that's all for show. It's all bluster. I need to get it out while I have an audience. But if you know me, you know I'm just like a little baby sloth. 


You are good at things. There are things that you are good at. 


Whoa. It tripped to the best friend switch. 


Gosh, dang it. You're delicious just the way you are. 


You are also a very good, medium rare piece of steak, you bitch. Okay. Well, my legs are asleep, so let's wrap it up. 


Let's take this one home. 


Oh yeah. Also going back to the things earlier, the Olympics, crazy, right?

Jordan (52:14):

Wild. The Olympics. Sure do happen. All right. Shall we sign this one out? This has been Or, Learn Parkour from Wholehearted Production Company.

Lex (52:26):

You can find us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, Podchaser, you know, the places where you get podcasts.

Jordan (52:34):

Special thanks to Krizia Perito for our cover art design. You can find her @petalhop, that's P-E-T-A-L-H-O-P on Instagram and Etsy and Twitter.

Lex (52:43):

Thank you also to Tom Rosenthal for the use of our theme song There is a Dark Place from the album Keep a Private Room Behind the Shop.

Jordan (52:52):

You can follow us on the sosh meeds. We are @OrLearnParkour on Twitter. We are @weareWPC on Instagram and at wearewpc.com.

Lex (53:05):

You can find all of those links, links to our sources. Special secret treasure hunt clues in our episode description.


Maybe a recipe. 


Yeah. It's just, surprise, this podcast in its entirety has just been one big buildup to a banana bread recipe,

Jordan (53:23):

A banana bread recipe secret treasure hunt?

Lex (53:26):

Yeah, you have to go on a treasure hunt to get the recipe. Anyways, if you enjoy this podcast and want to hear more don't forget to subscribe to this feed.


And preheat your ovens to 350 degrees. 


If you also want to conserve on your gas payment, do turn those ovens right back off, please and thanks. And then also, you know, if after all of this, you would like to give us monetary aid and support us on our Ko-fi, we do have a link to that on our website, and on our various social medias. If you're feeling generous, if you're feeling maybe pity, at this point who's to say. We'll take it. We're in a blanket fort. We're very sweaty and very sore. 

Jordan (54:15):

Help us buy more ice packs for us and the cats. Ultimately it will be one behind each knee, one behind the back, one on the boobs. 


Yeah, no, I just have a full ice pack. Just resting on the titties.

Jordan (54:28):

Yeah. I've been switching mine from knee crease to knee crease. I don't even know when it's dripping anymore. So let's get out of this blanket fort, okay.

Lex (54:40):

You looked at my boobs like, well, it's not on your boobs right now. Like a fucking challenge. And so I plopped them on there and it made a noise. It was audible enough to the mic that it picked it up.


I wasn't going to say anything. This is an audio medium. I was going to let you have it.


I have to explain why I'm just quietly falling apart over here. It's because just my boobs and the ice pack made a slappy noise akin to some other things that, you know, might make Owen Wilson ask, does that sound dirty? Okay. Well, anyways, I'm Lex.


I'm Jordan. This has been Or, Learn Parkour. In the true spirit of the Olympics I'm gonna go eat ice cream in the bath.


Okay, bye, everybody. We'll see you sometime. Good night.